It’s time for Apple to hit this reset button

In the interest of an abundance of safety, the Macalope believes it’s time to shut down the App Store until we can figure out what’s going on.

It is the year 2024. The Bell Riots are almost upon us, everyone is wearing double ties, the App Store is 15 years old and Apple is still trying to squeeze every last dime out of it it can.

“Patreon warns creators: Get ready to pay Apple’s 30% tax“

Don’t have your kids open a lemonade stand in Cupertino. Just… don’t.

It’s worth pointing out that Patreon takes between 8 and 12 percent of what creators charge fans. Apple will now be taking 30 percent of that the first year and 15 percent after that.

So it’s taking more money. Maybe it’s providing more value! Haha, no. In fact, it’s actively messing things up for those using the platform, whether they care about Patreon’s iOS app or not.

Any creator currently on first-of-the-month or per-creation billing plans will have to switch over to subscription billing to continue earning in the iOS app, because that’s the only billing type Apple’s in-app purchase system supports.

Patreon blog, August 12, 2024

Apple is providing negative value and then taking a larger cut. Sure, it is providing access to its platform, but it’s forcing creators into funding models that work for Apple, not necessarily for them. A lot of creators create things when they have the time to create them, not on some pre-defined schedule. Apple’s obsession with subscription-based revenue, however, something that lets it level out its quarterly results, is now having a knock-on effect on other platforms, spreading like a services revenue venereal disease.

Patreon is also not entirely without blame here as it also seems to want to push creators to subscriptions. It could continue to offer other payment options and an option for some creators to just not appear in the iOS app, but it’s not doing that, possibly because iOS is just that important to them as a revenue driver.

Let’s pause to remember who is who here, though, because it’s one thing when Apple tries to get money from Amazon or Netflix, but Patreon creators are largely independent writers, artists, musicians, podcasters, and, yeah, sure, some nudists, who are trying to make a little extra scratch doing something they love or simply need to do to get by. Apple, by way of contrast, is the richest company in the world.

You see the difference? Sure you do. Because it could not be more stark.

If there’s an upside to this, it’s that Apple’s continued thumbing of its nose to regulators seems more and more likely to continue to catch up to it. And it’s things like this that have the Macalope rooting for the regulators, even though a lot of the arguments the DOJ makes in its case against the company seem to have been designed with the rigor one usually expects from the Forbes contributor network and tiny monkey haberdashery. (Note: it’s the hats that are small, the monkeys are normal monkey-sized).

Subscription mania is the latest attempt to revive the glory days of medieval serfdom, how corporations from Apple to Netflix to Patreon can tithe us monthly, raising the rates on a whim regardless of the economic environment. Subscriptions go up, wages not so much. The difference with serfdom, of course, is that you can usually cancel a subscription without going on the run across 13th-century England pursued by the hounds of Sheriff Hugh de Toothgap. Not even death could cancel serfdom.

The Macalope probably shouldn’t bring that up. The next thing you know companies will insist your heirs pick up your subscriptions when you die.